“The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him.”

PSALM 37:23 (NIV)

This morning was peculiar. I usually wake up at 6:00 a.m., but today I opened my eyes at 4:30 a.m., already thinking through the day, the drive to Madison, and the list I needed to accomplish. As I lay there, a quiet question dropped in my spirit: “What is your worth?”

That question took me back to a recent trip. I had just returned from a national conference that brings together colleges and universities from across the country to talk about serving students, especially those from underrepresented backgrounds. It was a full schedule. Over a few days, I traveled between cities, carried four different assignments, and poured into leaders who care deeply about student success.

Two weeks before going, I was offered something that looked like a great opportunity. Another session. Another space to teach. Another room full of people. On the surface, it sounded good. But as I listened more closely, I realized it would require a heavy investment with no real investment back into me. New materials. New insights. Interactive exercises for hundreds of people. Tight preparation time. High expectations. Yet no value attached to the work.

I said no. I did not say no because I am afraid of work. I said no because sometimes an invitation is really a withdrawal. It pulls from your time, your energy, and your creativity, but offers no honor, support, or recognition in return. Saying yes would have meant stretching myself even thinner in a season when my plate was already full.

Walking those conference halls later, hearing the buzz of sessions and conversations, I thought about the opportunity I turned down. Part of me wondered what it might have led to. But as I talked with a colleague, something settled in my heart. Sometimes you must walk away when a person or organization does not value your worth. Saying no protected my peace, my name, and the standard God gave me for the work I do.

That is what I was thinking about on the highway this morning. I passed signs for Milwaukee, Madison, and Beloit, each one pointing to different lanes and different destinations. Somewhere around Mile Marker 259.8, it clicked. Life is like that stretch of road. You get options: east, west, north, or south. Many paths look open, but not every path is for you. In those moments, you have to ask, “What destination am I really headed toward?” That clarity reassured me that I had made the right decision. Opportunities that diminish your value are not really opportunities. They are detours.

The truth is many of us have learned to measure our worth by how much we say yes. We tie our value to how many people ask for our help, invite us to the table, or need our skills. Being in demand can feel flattering, but if we are not careful, we confuse being busy with being aligned. We end up tired, overcommitted, and quietly frustrated, all while calling it “purpose.”

You may be in a moment where you have to think carefully about alignment and ask, “Does this fit my assignment, or does it feed my ego?” That is not an easy question, but it is an honest one. Some invitations look impressive from the outside, yet under the surface they add stress to an already complicated life. They use your gift while ignoring your value.

God is not the author of confusion, so one way to discern if something is for you is to pay attention to the flow. That does not mean every assignment will be simple or effortless, but there will be a sense of alignment. The timing, the support, and the structure will bear witness that you are in the right lane. When everything around an opportunity feels forced, foggy, and frantic, it may be a sign to pause and ask, “Is this really mine to do?”

If you are feeling stretched thin, underappreciated, or pulled in too many directions, this might be a place where God is inviting you to re-evaluate how you see your worth. Not to run from responsibility, but to release what does not align. To believe that your time, your gifts, and your presence carry weight. To trust that you do not have to accept every request in order to honor God or prove your value to other people. Sometimes the most faithful answer you can give is no.

Honor the work God gave you. Set boundaries that reflect your value, and let God lead your lane.

Keep moving forward,

Dr. Key